In a sense western missions has been marked by that. But isn't it strange that Jesus not only entered society incarnate at the weakest point, as a defenseless child who needed the care of his host community, but he also told his disciples: "Do not go with money; do not go with a second pair of shoes; go in a stance of vulnerability; be dependent on the communities you visit"? Isn't it interesting that for 30 years he doesn't speak out; doesn't reveal himself; he remains quiet, and only after 30 years of listening and learning the culture does he begin to speak.

So how can Americans communicate well with Africans?

When we communicate in Africa, we are very guarded in what we say. We don't want to offend. Westerners say that Africans never tell you what they really think. They tell you what you want to hear. And yes, that's true! Because from our perspective, every engagement between two people always has the potential of leading to a lifelong relationship, or preventing a lifelong friendship.

Africa is a very relational continent. It's the relationships that make society work.

In the U.S. things work irrespective of relationships; in fact, if you have a relationship, it can sometimes work against you. In Africa it's the opposite. So we are always guarded and gracious in our communication. We want to guard the relationship. When the Bible says, "Speak the truth in love," we err on the side of love. The possibility of a relationship means I cannot tell you the total truth until I am secure in this relationship with you, until I know that the truth will not hurt this relationship.

You do it differently. Speaking the truth has a higher premium in your context, so you are unguarded. You speak the truth, call a spade a spade, at whatever cost. And if the relationship suffers, well, that's too bad, the important thing is that the truth was spoken.

We never do that. I've had to learn to be more assertive in my dealings with Americans just so they would hear me! I have had to learn to speak truth more directly. Americans have to learn to listen to the relational side of things.

Your church has developed some deep partnerships with churches in the United States. What have been the key ingredients of those partnerships?

In each of these churches it's been important to find a bridging relationship—someone who comes in quietly, speaks slowly, is a good listener, and is trying to learn.

Many churches in America have been inspired to think about the needs of the world, but they may not know of anyone who can play that role. How does a church in North America cultivate those kinds of people?

There are several starting points. First, many churches should start with cross-cultural opportunities nearby. The most important is the racial divide. The tensions that govern that divide, things left unsaid, presumptions, stereotyping, are the same as at the international level. But at the international level they're more easily disguised so that you think they don't exist. Whereas here, in the racial divide, you know they exist, they're the elephant in the room, and you know they have to be brought up at some point, otherwise the conversation isn't really going anywhere. So I think that's actually the first crosscultural training ground.

A second would be internationals who have come to live in America. They are wonderful bridges. They understand Third World perspectives. They can be your "consultants."

From our store

Ministering Cross Culturally: The training articles in this download will give you a starting point for ministry in a new culture. Here you can read about cross-cultural ministry as we see it in the Bible; you can gain skills to help you with cultural immersion (and to avoid culture shock); and you can re-approach ministry in our ever-changing, globalized world. This is an ideal resource for a short-term missions team to discuss before they travel.